The Jouney Continues

I had promised myself that I would be more faithful in updating this blog than I have been, and so for that I apologize. To be honest, I have been obsessing over what to blog about for over a week now and I still don't really know but have decided to just put my hands to the keyboard and see what comes out!

As most of you know, I recently made an "emergency" trip to Virginia to be with Alana and Mitch during a difficult time in their life. (For those of you who don't know their story it is on Alana's blog at http://www.showersofrayne.blogspot.com/ so I will not repeat it here) I do ask that you will keep them in your prayers, pray for God's healing of their hearts and that He will use this time of sadness to draw them closer to Him and to each other.

Even though it was kind of a sad trip, God did use it in many ways. I was able to regain some ground in a very dear friendship that Satan had stolen from me. I was able to spend some very precious time with my daughter and her husband, whom I miss dearly. I also found myself standing on a small balcony pouring out my heart to God begging Him for what I wanted and gently heard Him say - Is this really what you want or shall My will be done? Your will, Lord, your will. As heartbreaking as it was, I had to let go and trust Him. Trust and believe that He knew how badly everyone was hurting; he knew what we so desperately wanted. It was difficult for me to let go of my will and to put my faith in Him, to stand on the fact that He loved us and cared for us but He also knew what was best for all concerned. It was a very big lesson in trust for me, I had to let go of what I wanted and allow Him to work things out in His way. Even though I do not understand why things happened as they did I do know that God's word says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This is the verse that God gave me to stand on for this year and now He was showing me that I had to apply it to everything in my life even those nearest and dearest to me. As a side note, on the day that we arrived, Alana handed me a notepad and said, I found these verses this morning and they have helped me - yep! one of them was the one I just quoted. God is good all the time, all the time God is good. I am learning to let go and let God, to believe in His goodness all the time in all situations.

As, I walk through each day trying more and more to rely on God and not self I am able to see His hand, to feel His love, to know His voice. Even when I am going through "dry spells" my heart knows that He is there. Even when I cannot feel Him, when I cannot "find" Him, when I feel lost, lonely and confused, I know that He has not lost me and sometimes that is all I have to hang onto - the knowledge that He has not let go of me and that as long as I continue to seek His face my future contains rich and glorious encounters with Him.